Making Space for the Next Big Thing
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash
To quote Boyz II Men*, “It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.” Specifically, the Boyz are singing about saying goodbye and leaving a relationship. But the sentiment is universal. It is hard to let go. Of...something we really wanted, an idea, a hope. We plan and put in the work and do all the things we can think of to make it happen. To quote another 90s song we “Hold on for one more day” believing “things can change, things’ll go your way.” But when it’s no longer serving us to keep going down that path, how do we stop? And what if we’re not sure how to find the next path?
A friend once told me that I stick with things longer than most, but when I’m done, I’m done. And I think that’s right. I like the satisfaction of figuring something out. Solving the problem. But there’s a point where a switch gets flipped and I’m just done. For me, it’s typically after I’ve gone through all the feelings, all the thinking about how I might make it better or change it. How I might force it or bend it to my will.
To be clear, this isn’t about persistence. Of course it’s important to stick with things to give them a chance and see how it works out. This is about holding on so tight our knuckles are white and our fingers hurt. That’s not persistence, that’s fear.
We can only give focus and energy to so many things. If we keep chasing the thing that is always just out of reach, we are likely missing other opportunities along the way. So how do we know when to stop? Some questions to ask yourself.
How do I feel most of the time continuing to do or pursue ‘x’?
What would I be doing if I weren’t devoting energy to ‘x’?
Am I continuing down this path because I don’t know what else to do?
Will you absolutely know it’s time to let go and move on to the next job, position, or thing? No. But you’ll probably have a hunch. I seem to be in a space right now where I’m hearing a lot of stories about charting a new course. Each time, the person didn’t know what was next. But there was a spark. There was a feeling they had each time they took a step in the new direction. And while they were doing this they did the work. They researched. They talked with trusted friends and consulted experts. So when they were ready to make the change, the leap was a bit less scary.
For me, starting my own business and becoming a coach was a leap. It was scary and still is, at times. But I love helping people grow and reach their goals. Helping someone see things from a new perspective that opens up a host of new possibilities to consider. Witnessing people push through fears to become their more authentic selves. Partnering and strategizing with them when they are coming to the realization that it’s time to let go of one thing in order to make room for the next.
Is there something you need to let go of in order to find new opportunities? Are you aware you are stuck and need to let something go? Does your desire and drive to take the next step outweigh your fear of the unknown? If so, you might be ready for your next big thing.
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*This is my Gen X version of the song. It was originally written for the film Cooley High in 1975.